Mel Buttle has her say on this week's Common Sense as the cast takes on Trump and the monarchy.
For the third week straight, the most powerful toupe in the world got our cast talking.
Donald Trump's latest faux pas was telling the French president’s wife that she is in great shape and is beautiful.
Eric the butcher, our resident Trump fan, is confident Trump can beat this setback too. He probably will - Trump is an unstoppable steamroller of wrong, taking down all in his path.
Trudi the market seller echoed my sentiments, saying that in a political or business setting it’s inappropriate to comment on someone’s appearance.
Vote one Trudi Yip I say.
Jake and Ayden, the real estate young guns, offered a very sensible comment on Trump, acknowledging that he’s said much worse. True boys, I agree.
Speaking of things in places they don’t belong. Bull rider Zach Mitchell has undergone surgery to have his big toe removed and sewn in place of his thumb, which he lost in a bull riding accident.
This story resulted in a cast-wide, "Eww".
Ayden couldn't cope with the image of the toe on a hand, as he hates feet. Eric the butcher took a more practical view, stating that now he can’t wear thongs.
I’d add gloves to that list too.
On the topic of feet, I noticed this week that real estate boys Jake and Ayden were almost identical, with matching rainbow socks and grey suits.
They say imitation is the greatest form of flattery, but boys, it might be time for one of you to consider chinos or a new haircut, it’s getting harder to tell you apart!
Next, we found out that Aileen from the retirement home has a teapot fetish.
I loved Jean’s totally disinterested reaction to Aileen’s long-winded teapot stories, I wish I could be as honest with my mates as Jean is.
She told Aileen that she’s not at all interested in teapots. I feel the same about my friend’s kitchen renovation plans but I’m not yet at the stage where I can do a Jean and turn away muttering "Oh god".
Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull met with the Queen recently, which split the cast on the issue of Australia becoming a republic.
The tech girls think we should keep Lizzie around as it might make it easier for them to befriend Kate and Pippa Middleton.
Michelle-Ann likes the monarchy, as it’s "a little bit of something special".
Laurence let loose on the royals though, saying that "no human is born above another human" and that if we became a republic we wouldn’t have to pay for their stupid corgis.
Laurence was cut off before he could properly kick off though. I think by now Brett, like a long suffering wife, senses when a Laurence melt down is coming and intervenes with a bit of humour to calm the situation down.
Brett also brought his laconic sense of humour to the story about the Parklea Correctional inmate who filmed himself with access to a makeshift knife and what’s claimed to be methamphetamine
I did wonder how anyone could possibly get these items and the mobile phone he filmed this exposé on into the prison.
Brett explained it in two words: "Back pocket" - and he’s not talking about the one in your jeans either.
How are you single Brett? You’d be a great boyfriend - non-stop laughs and your removal truck would come in handy for a weekend trip to Ikea.
I’m giving line of the episode to Ted from the retirement crew this week.
While discussing the story about parents auctioning off the care of their children on Airtasker, Ted was concerned that a stranger would be left in charge of your kids.
"They could be a Collingwood supporter!" he quipped. Zing! You go Ted. Remember, until next week, if all else fails, use your Common Sense!
1. I guess I’m dreaming but I can’t wait for an episode of Common Sense that doesn’t feature Donald Trump!
2. I do secretly love watching Laurence lose it. It reminds me of my dad watching the news.
3. Maybe Ayden and Jake should look into name badges for next week so we can tell them apart!
Common Sense continues, Wednesdays at 7.30pm on Lifestyle.