Mel Buttle has her say on Common Sense episode one, as the cast discuss the big stories of the week!
It was only the first episode, but the cast of Common Sense and I are getting overly attached really quickly - I love them all!
This week they gave us a bit of real talk about the two per cent pay rise our pollies have received, with almost everyone reacting badly to the proposal.
It was panned worse than the time my mum wanted to do a vegetarian Christmas lunch!
We then jumped right into news of a very important study: Does sex make you smarter?
The line of the episode has to go to hairdresser Nikki, who quipped that the only way sex would make her smarter is if "he had an Oxford dictionary on his forehead".
The AJT crew - retirees Aileen, Jean and Ted - didn’t shy away from discussing whether sex makes you smarter, either.
They revealed all about the people in 'sin corner' in their retirement village.
I’m guessing this is a metaphorical place and not a 50 Shades of Grey style pleasure room down the hall from the bingo parlour!
Then we met tech entrepreneurs Helen and Sarah.
They cast their critical eye over a story about teachers telling students they were to be taken away by the government - a stunt to help them understand the Stolen Generation’s experience.
The girls wondered if the story might be a media beat up. Me too ladies - you can't trick ten year olds for five hours, they’ve got iPads and green smoothies at the tuckshop, they’re not going to fall for anything.
Brett, in his classic charming sarcastic way, said: "How dare my child feel anything other than bubblewrap," taking a big swipe at helicopter parents.
Over in the bra shop, Betty, with her glamorous diamante name badge (look closely you’ll find it), said what we’re all thinking about Trump in regards to his Twitter take down of TV host Mika Brzezinski.
She suggested that he try "a little bit of decorum".
We then discovered that real estate young gun Jake is a bad boy behind the suit!
While discussing the Perth brickie who held down a burglar until police arrived, he revealed that in his younger days, he tried to break up a fight and got slashed with a knife.
I bet his Tinder is blowing up like a Sydney house price right now.
Back in the retirement home, Ted very delicately explained to Jean and Aileen where a lady can put a ground-up wasps nest to tighten things up. Ahem!
The latest beauty trend to hit the UK, apparently.
Men’s fertility was also a hot topic this week, which brought a lot of laughs..
In the bra shop, Lois explained that at her horse stud farm, the older the stallion the worse quality the semen. They freeze it, but it doesn’t always thaw out that well apparently. Ew!
So until the next episode, remember - when in doubt, use your common sense!
1. Perhaps we could save money on MP salaries by giving them Trudy’s childhood treat of rice, vegemite and butter for lunch?
2. Eric the butcher seemed pro-Trump. I am not pro-Trump, but I am pro-slow roasted pork belly, so maybe Eric and I might find a way to get along?
3. On marriage equality, Ayden said it best: "Love is love!"
Watch Common Sense on Lifestyle, Wednesdays at 7.30pm.