Facials have hit a new low – literally – with the advent of the latest lady trend, the ‘Vajacial’. From steaming to smoking, the focus on pampering the ‘private parts’ is growing.
It was bound to happen. We’d plucked and pierced the nether regions within an inch of their sweet lives, so it was only a matter of time before they got, well, pampered with a ‘Vajacial’. And we can thank Gwyneth Paltrow for this new trend and more.
1. The Vaginal Steam
In a recent post on her self-curated weekly lifestyle publication’ ‘GOOP’, the newly single Paltrow waxes lyrical about the benefits of the unfortunately named ‘Mugworth V-Steam’, which she recently had done in LA’s Tikkun Spa, and went on to share with a few close girlfriends followed by the entire world.
Touted as “the real Golden Ticket” of the spa’s menu, Paltrow described the vaginal steam in detail for her many avid followers. “You sit on what is essentially a mini-throne,” she explains, “and a combination of infra-red and mugworth steam cleanses your uterus, et al.”
The treatment gave Paltrow “an energetic release - not just a steam douch - that balances female hormone levels. If you’re in LA, you have to do it,” she adds. Whether that is before or after a visit to Disneyland, she doesn’t say.
A handful of salons across The States offer options on the hot new trend (pun intended) including the “Gyno Spa Cure” at New Yorks Juvenex Spa which is believed to regulate periods and promote fertility. But you better have a decent book on lock as the treatment requires women to squat over a bucket of steaming herbs for Half. An. Hour!
Let’s take a look at some other popular options to glam up the girly bits:
2. The Vajacial
An optional extra extravagance for women who have regular bikini waxes, this trademarked treatment from San Francisco’s Stript Wax Bar has been designed to address the key needs for anyone who braves the Brazilian. A week after waxing, the 50-minute treatment works in four steps, including cleansing, exfoliating a mask and, lastly, a ‘lightening’ cream. Whether it is necessary – and its ingrown hair-preventing prowess is superior to a quick swipe of an anti-bacterial swab – is open for discussion.
3. Vaginal Smoking
Before you attempt to roll your own – ahem – it should be noted that Vaginal Smoking refers to the ‘treatment, whereby a woman squats over a steaming bowl of herbs (known in Javanese as ‘Jamu’) that waft around down there, weaving their cleansing, stress-reducing, infection-fighting, menstrual cycle regulating and fertility boosting magic. Popular in Bali, the treatment is also marketed within ‘Happy Marital Packages’ and also touted as improving intercourse. Bintang not included.
4. The Hair Down There
Although waxing businesses are booming, some women do wish to have a little lush coverage downstairs. “I hear that there’s a big fad these days of young women undergoing laser hair removal on all of their lady bits,” Cameron Diaz lamented in her self-help ‘The Body Book’. “'Personally, I think permanent laser hair removal sounds like a crazy idea.”
Maybe for those like Cam who not only want to encourage growth - but also ensure that the carpet co-ordinates with the curtains - a downstairs dye job is the order of the day? But be warned, not only is this not something to be done slap dash (two words; allergic rash), there are colour dye brands that designed to be used on the more intimate of areas. Betty Beauty stocks a range of kaleidoscopic colour for ‘the hair down there’ so that you no longer have to dream of unicorns ladies, you can be one!
5. Nip + Tuck
A Vaginoplasty is basically a renovation rescue for the vagina, tightening up the loose lining and the internal muscles that can slacken with age – and childbirth. Indeed, this has certain necessary results with the added bonus of restored – and increased - stimulation and pleasure for both partners.
But be warned, abstinence – from slap, tickle and any other treatments (yes Ms Paltrow, that means you too) – is to be abstained from for six weeks after the procedure to aid healing.