“Parents love a celebration, especially when their daughter or son gets to be the centre of attention,” says Staging Connections wedding planner, Anthony Del Col.
“There are many parents who love the spotlight and some might take it a little too far by being too overbearing in terms of what they expect to see on the day.” But if parents are contributing to the cost, it’s only fair that they have their say.
So how do you strike a balance? Here are a few tips on how to cope with excited, and sometimes controlling, parents.
#1: COOL OFF
“The cooling off period might be underrated but it works,” insists Anthony. When conversations get too heated or you feel like you’re drowning in that never-ending to-do list, remove yourself from the situation. Go for a jog, have brunch with friends, or go to the beach for the day. Anything that is non-wedding related will help calm the soul. Note: this probably won’t be a one-time occurrence, so be prepared!
Sometimes it helps to look back and see what got you to breaking point. Did your mother not realise you already picked out your dream invitations? Was your father-in-law not clear on the budget? Also try to understand other people’s point of view before launching a defensive attack and talk about how you can compromise. “Overall, Mums and Dads only want the best for their child, which is great, as long as it doesn’t blow the budget,” says Anthony.
No one wants to spend their wedding preparations miserable and arguing with loved ones so try to resolve any issues quickly and without further damage. Anthony suggests getting help from family and friends, and then talk things through with the parties who are getting out of control. “Communication is the key. Make sure you’re clear on what’s not working then set a plan and stick to it,” he says.
“Remember there is always a solution,” says Anthony. “You can always resolve the issue and put a smile back on your face.” If everyone is clear on what’s expected and needed from them, then everyone will be happy. Also try putting things into perspective and trust that it’ll all come together on the day! If it’s still not working revert back to step one and cool off!