Finding it hard in the dating game? Rethink your outlook with these 5 expert tips.
According to a study conducted by eHarmony, single Aussies go on an average of 41 dates per year, and expect casual dates to turn serious after just five meets. While we're putting ourselves out there, not everyone is finding a real connection.
eHarmony's Dating and Relationship Expert, Melanie Schilling, shares her top five tips in finding your perfect match.
1. Date yourself
Start by investing in you. Rather than countless, meaningless date nights, substitute in a few me nights. Take that course you've been thinking about, write that blog, cuddle that dog - whatever is meaningful to you. Get to know yourself on a deeper level and tap into your greatest strengths. What are the top three things you like about yourself?
2. Positive dating mindset
Next, it's time to let go of any limiting beliefs or 'baggage' that may be holding you back. Have you been hurt before? Do you expect all men/women to cheat? Are you preparing to be disappointed? Develop a belief that you deserve love and you are in the process of achieving it. Listen to your self-talk and make sure you are focusing on the possibilities and potential rather than fears or pitfalls.
3. Personal dating brand
Just like in our careers, it is important to understand our personal brand in the dating world. Rather than the superficial stuff, work from the inside-out. What are your deepest values? What defines you as a person? How would you describe your personality? Having a clear picture of your brand will help you present your story in your online profile and on dates, and help you define what you are looking for in a partner. Remember, most Aussies are looking for someone with similar values and interests to themselves, so start with you.
4. Authentic dating strategy
Once you get your head right, commit to a positive mindset and define your dating brand; you are ready to develop your strategy, both online and offline. By this point, you will be clear about who you are, what you want and don't want and are in a good position to set goals and build your strategy. This will help you take decisive action, effortlessly say 'yes' or 'no' to potential dates and know within a shorter period of time if someone is worth getting to know on a deeper level.
5. Take a risk
And finally, it's time to step outside your comfort zone. You need to put your strategy into practice by taking gradual steps towards your goal. Start by practicing with a 'low stakes' person (e.g. the guy who makes your coffee or the girl on the next treadmill) and practice your flirting, conversation techniques and listening. Once your confidence builds, step into a 'real' dating situation and apply your new perspective and skills. You'll be surprised at how easily dating conversation flow when you get the foundations right.
Other interesting stats
- 71 per cent of Aussies try to be imaginative when coming up with date ideas
- 7 in 10 consider group dating fun
- 69 per cent perform online background checks on dates
- Those in capital cities date more than those in regional areas
- 37 per cent date multiple partners at early stages