And she's copping backlash for it.
Organising a kids birthday party can be tough. There's invites, location, dietary requirements and so much more to consider. But one mum has who has no issues saying "no" has taken her task as event planner to a whole new level.
Taking to website Reddit, she shared her story - noting that she had children who were not invited, try to attend her child's birthday shindig.
"I'm a mother of 3 and as with most parents I'm sure, you've attended many birthday parties and had the misfortune of seeing that one parent who always drops their kids off and leaves without considering that not all the children were invited. Sometimes more than one parent does this and honestly I think its selfish."
She admitted she didn't have a problem with extra guests attending, so long as they had notified her before hand, but "often it's not".
"Who would say no to a child? After all its not their fault," she said, before adding that in the past she hasn't been shy about her "distaste for such behaviour when in the parent circle at parties".
The mum went on to say it would be un unpleasant experience for the child who was dropped off as they usually wouldn's have friends their age at the event.
"I've made no secret about my distaste for such behaviour when in the parent circle at parties," she wrote. "It's an overall miserable situation for the sibling with no friend and usually out of their age group, and the hosting parent is left to try include an budgeted for kid.
She then shared her own experience, when this happened to a child who attended her daughter's 10th birthday party.
The family chose to keep the events "small and private due to COVID-19", and in doing so they threw thir daughter a craft party, where each kid receives a prechosen crafting pack to work with for the event.
"The event is a per child prepaid event so any extra children would be unpaid for and would not have their own crafting kit" she said. "This fact was heavily emphasised to the parents and not a word of discontent was uttered."
Unfortunately, that isn't what happened on the day.
"Inevitably, on the day parent A wants to drop of child A who was invited as well as child B who was not" she wrote. She then explained that the parent aggressively said both children can share a craft pack as she didn't think it was fair to have one child feeling left out.
"When asked why child B couldn't stay with parent A, I was not given a reason other than child B was upset they couldn't go" the Reddit poster said.
Adamant that no extra children could attend last so last minute, she told the parent that one of the children was uninvited.
"Child B threw the biggest tantrum, parent made no move to calm but instead blamed me for saying no and 'all the other parents always let both children attend'," she said.
"Now had this been a small at home event then sure I probably wouldn't have made the fuss, grit my teeth and dealt with my private feelings on the matter" the angry mum shared. "But this was a paid per child event and it's hardly fair to child A or B that they would have to share a craft pack."
In the midst of it all, the parent appeared to be frustrated and chose to take both her children home, leaving the party thrower with one wasted craft kit.
"I was half expecting it the moment parent A was told no" the woman wrote, adding that another parent who had seen the whole thing told her she should have let the child participate.
"I feel teaching my children the value of your word and sticking to it is more important that sparing the feelings of a child and parent who should know better" she said decidedly, before asking the forum AITA (Am I the A—hole) for not letting child B come?
The majority of Reddit users thought the mum had a point it was not fair to drop off an extra tot - with someone pointing out it's especially important to keep to numbered groups given the Coronavirus pandemic.
"The crafting place could have had everything set up so that the children could be distanced and completely safe which isn't easy when you're dealing with 10-year-olds," the person wrote.
"All it would take is two or three extra kids and then there's a much higher chance of someone getting infected."
"NTA, you aren't a child daycare," one more agreed.
"Who says no to a child? Actual good parents who raise well-rounded and unspoiled children."
"Parents who try to foist their uninvited children onto a birthday party are the assholes. Also, parents who demand that their kids get exactly the same opportunities and share every little thing are asking for trouble later."
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