How to survive a long-distance Valentine’s Day

Look after your love this Valentine's Day.

While Valentine's Day is to celebrate the ones you love, it can be difficult for the star-crossed lovers out there in a long-distance relationship. Although, there are some simple ways to make sure both parties feel loved, special and noticed, as Lysn psychologist Nancy Sokarno reveals. 

"Valentine’s day has major expectations attached and can be extra difficult when you can’t physically be with the one you love," the expert explains.

"Comparing your relationship to other’s who have physical access to one another can potentially place some insecurity in the relationship. Being triggered by seeing Valentine's day gifts, cards, events etc can spark jealousy - but be conscious your relationship isn’t defined by calendar events."

Going back to basics

While the expectations may be high, Nancy says communication is most important and will make your other half feel the most loved.  

"Don't be so hard on yourself or your partner in the lead up to Valentine's day," she says. "It may not feel like the ideal situation you’d both like to be in, though it's important to look at making it work with the resources you have.

"Understand that there are lots of ways in which you can show someone you care about them. Writing them a letter, putting together a memories collage, sending them a thoughtful gift or having a Facetime date can be just as good!

"Scheduling time with one another to have a phone call or video call on Valentine’s day can ensure no one misses out on feeling special."

Reading the signs

In the lead up to Valentine's Day, new, long-distance relationships can be tested. To be wary of the signs that your partner may be feeling left out, Nancy lists a few things to look out for.

"Look out for longer delays in communication than you’re regularly accustomed to, as well as them avoiding talking about the event as it elicits an emotional response.

"Another thing you might notice is when your partner uses comparison language in regards to how 'good' the relationship is vs other relationships."

Nancy adds that while your partner may be showing these signs, it's important to communicate that a highly commercialised day actually doesn’t mean much to a relationship’s strength.

"Try and not put too much pressure on the event making or breaking the status of your relationship," she says. "Social media is saturated with loved up posts and this can be difficult to scroll through. Just remember you can’t judge relationships through images."

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