You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with

Our Wellbeing Expert, Sam Sargent, explains why it is so important to be mindful of the people who we spend our time with most.

Whether we believe it or not, it's true we are most influenced by those we spend time with. Motivational speaker, Jim Rohn, famously said we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with.

Our thoughts, our actions, our self-esteem, and our daily choices are affected by those closest to us. Therefore, if you want to make changes in your life, you might first want to consider who you are spending the most time with.


I’m certainly not suggesting that you end your marriage or relationship, unless of course it is abusive or beyond repair. What I am suggesting is that it might be helpful to have an honest heart-to-heart conversation about your targets - personal, professional or otherwise - for the immediate and long term future, and how you can support one another in that process.

This doesn’t mean that you both have to share the same targets, but it does provide the possibility for you to create a more nourishing relationship with your loved one whereby you both feel supported and respected in your common and individual goals and aspirations.


Are the people you hang out with positive? Are they happy for you when something exciting happens in your life? Do they support your wellbeing targets and cheer you on? Or do they relish the times when you’re going through a difficult situation? Do they enjoy drama or gossip? Do they discourage you from your ambitions? If your goal is to improve your physical or emotional wellbeing then you might want to take a look at the people you hang around with. Do they encourage you to make choices for your wellbeing? Or do they mock you for bold targets?

Every morning my husband and I go for a walk on the beach and around the same time there is a group of about 40 people who meet up at the local surf club to walk and swim a lap of the bay. It’s such a beautiful thing to watch. It may sound seemingly insignificant but I wholeheartedly disagree. There they all are meeting at the crack of dawn with the same common interest, to nourish a little aspect of their wellbeing. And in doing so they are supporting one another, by the friendships that they create within the group, which further supports each individual’s desire. Whether that be a desire to get fit, enjoy nature, make new friends, or start the day off on a high note.

How can I apply this to my life?  

For the next 30 days, I encourage you to become more aware of what your targets and ambitions are, what you spend the majority of your time doing, and who you do it with. When you become more aware of what your reality truly is, it provides you with the possibility to change something that isn’t working for you, and to keep on choosing what is working for you from a conscious stand point, including who you spend the most time with.

Want more? We thought you might like this video.


Sign Out

Join the Conversation

Please note, LifeStyle cannot respond to all comments posted in our comments feed. If you have a comment or query you would like LifeStyle to respond to, please use our feedback form.