How often do we, as humans, stay away from something because we're worried it will hurt or embarrass us? Failure and rejection are never easy to deal with, but they're part of life. Here's why they're worth embracing...
Amanda Holland, anthropologist and communications coach believes that failure and rejection are important for us to experience as they often give birth to greater things.
"As much as they get a bad reputation, are actually very fertile grounds for creativity, innovation, learning, and new possibility," she says. "When we welcome the possibility of rejection and failure, real magic can happen."
"Turning the tables on our negative perceptions of rejection and failure can create an incredible sense of power and freedom in life," she tells. "Embraced rather than feared, it can lead you to accomplishments far beyond what aiming for acceptance and ideals of perfection can deliver."
Here are four ways to flip your perspective, according to Amanda.
Don't be hard on yourself
"When we get a ‘no’, a knock-back, or we have a spectacular faceplant (literally or otherwise), we have a choice. We can turn it into a self-beating exercise and open a floodgate to our favourite self-criticisms, or we can have a brutally honest conversation with ourselves and ask: I can judge me or be kind to me; which would I like to choose now? Self-judgment is the worst form of motivation, because it never works," she says.
See failure and rejection as a new possibility
"The difference between success and failure is simply your point of view. A great question to ask when things go wrong is, 'What is right about this I am not getting?'," says Amanda. "There is always something greater that can be created from your situation - if you are willing to seek it."
Be curious and don’t assume
"If you do some in-depth research into just about any famous entrepreneur or innovator, you will notice that they’ve all learned to use failure as a stepping stone to greater learning or achievement. Rather than assume the worst, they look at the situation with open curiosity to discover what they learned and how it helps form the future. With questions and curiosity, failure and rejection simply become a way to find new possibilities and grow and become wiser, allowing you to go further and achieve greater the next time around," says Amanda.
Forget about perfect
"There truly is no such thing," advises Amanda. "Have you noticed that no matter how hard you try to get it right, it is wrong according to someone? If you give up trying to be perfect and do what you do for the fun of it, failure becomes part of the adventure and, rather than a bad thing, it becomes merely an unexpected result with new opportunities," she says.
Amanda Holland is an anthropologist and film-maker by training, and a writer, editor, and communications coach by trade. As a Right Voice for You facilitator, a specialty program from personal development organisation Access Consciousness, she engages people to see their difference and use it to create greater in their own lives and the world.