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The problem with looking for love the 'old-fashioned' way

Dr Nikki Goldstein unpacks a common problem with online dating.

Where not-so long ago internet dating was only for the few, it’s now the norm and just about everyone is on some site or app. After recently travelling the US, talking to women about dating (all of whom were dating online), I was surprised by how many confessed that, even though they were happy with online dating, they still have the desire to meet someone the "old-fashioned way" – in the flesh.

While this isn't out of the question, it strikes me that something has gone wrong in our attitude to online dating. Are we really just swiping online to fill in time while waiting for a different "love at first sight" moment? Are you waiting to be chosen or are you also doing the choosing?

It's worth remembering that just because it’s traditional, doesn’t mean it’s better and just because it’s online doesn’t mean true love can’t flourish.

Most women I know strive to be empowered, they want to fight injustices against our gender and embrace all things modern about this world. So, why are we hesitant to let go of the old, fairytale-style meet-cute approach to love?

While it’s still good to be open to meeting new people in the flesh, we also need to be open to really finding love online, not just telling ourselves we are.

My advice to those looking for love is to keep an open mind and try to stop thinking of dating online as a way to find easy dates, flirty chit-chat and random hook-ups (although those things also have their place!). 

Don't forget the likelihood the person you might meet and fall in love with in-person, probably also has an online dating profile! Don't negate the relationships you make online just because they aren't born from a chance encounter. 

 
 

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