Our wellbeing expert Sam Sample provides her top tips to help you stop negative self talk.
Something that has baffled me for many years now is the imbalance in our caring. Many people treat their partner, child, pets and even car better than they do their own selves.
The whole concept of this is quite absurd yet so real for many people.
For example, think about the way in which some of us treat our pets - we tell them how cute they are, and pat them, and play with them, constantly saying lovely positive words of praise. We ensure that they are well fed and exercised.
Or the way in which some of us treat our car…wouldn’t dream of putting anything in the tank other than the highest quality premium petrol, maintain regular oil and water checks, clean it, polish it, vacuum it, and even give it a nickname.
Now, think about the way in which some of us treat ourselves. We look in the mirror and judge our body, face, complexion. We sit on the couch watching TV, as opposed to taking our bodies out for a walk in the fresh air. We criticize our actions and engage in negative self-talk like “how could I be so stupid?” or “what’s wrong with me?” We eat frightfully unhealthy foods that offer little nutritional benefit. We overeat and place stress on our organs. We drink waaaaaaayyyy too much alcohol.
Hmmmm…. Does this sound as strange to you as it does to me? Crazy huh!
So… would you like to join me over the next couple of weeks and become more aware of the relationship that we have with our self, and whether there are any areas that need a little improvement?
Here are a few key areas that may require tweaking:
1. Become aware of your “self talk”
Every time you catch yourself saying “what’s wrong with me?” replace it with “what’s right about me that I’m not getting?”
2. Be fair on yourself
Many people beat up on themselves because they think that they’re not as successful, happy or “good” as they should be. The reality is that we all make mistakes and have ups and downs throughout life. When you do make a mistake, learn from it and then carry on with life. Ask a question “how does it get any better than this?” or simply say to yourself “whoa, that was an interesting choice I just made. Won’t be making that one again any time soon.” The most important thing is not to punish yourself to the point of being upset and paralysed by it.
3. Listen to your body
Listen to your body and become better at understanding healthy food choices.
4. Get active
Your body loves to move. It was designed to move. Enjoy the fresh air and take yourself for a walk/swim/horse ride/yoga class/rock climb.
5. Be gentle, kind and patient with yourself
Lastly, please remember to be gentle, kind and patient with yourself as you’re learning these new ways of thinking, doing and considering.
Oh, I should also mention that I do LOVE animals. Dogs, cats and horses in particular. I am an advocate for veganism and support foundations that raise awareness of these issues, so I am naturally 100% all for treating your pets with absolute love and kindness. But please, please, please ensure that you’re also treating yourself with same respect. The relationship we have with our self is the most important of them all, and the one which all other relationships stem from. If you don’t love yourself, how can you truly love someone else?!
* These simple questions are inspired from a discipline called Access Consciousness – tools, techniques and philosophies that empower people to know that they know.