Valentine's Day is the perfect time to to celebrate your most important relationship - the one you have with yourself.
Valentine’s Day is not normally a day of self-love, it's quite the opposite. No matter what your relationship status, the lead up to Valentine's Day is spent planning and procrastinating. What should you do for that special someone? Is that special someone doing something for you in return? How will I spend Valentine's Day?
For singles it can conjure up a feeling of dread if it means that roses and chocolates might not be on the cards. Whether in a relationship or single (or single but dating) the day is full of outwardly focused energy and internalised anxiety of what might and might not be.
Let’s simplify Valentines’ Day and just call it a day to celebrate love and all types of love. And if that’s the case, then we should also be celebrating the love we have for ourselves, single or taken.
But loving yourself isn’t just about buying a gift or treating yourself to a massage. It's about self-acceptance and truly knowing who you are.
Good relationships take time
Loving yourself is an internal battle that we are not always aware goes on. Loving yourself is taking the time to be mindful of this battle and putting some energy, thought and consideration back into you.
A good relationship takes time and a lot of work, even if there is one person involved. While there isn’t always a quick fix solution to more self-love, the first step is just being aware of the struggles that may play on your mind.
Do what you really want to do
What do you have planned for Valentine's Day? Are you preparing your partner's favourite movie or meal? Are you thinking a night out with the girls will heal all potential insecurities that arise on this day of cupids and hearts? What do you really want to do?
Forget the roses and the romance for just one moment and think about something that would mean the world to you. Have you considered yourself in your Valentine's Day plans or simply tried to work out what your other half would like, what you feel you need to do or what will look good to show others on social media? Take time to consider what you really want to do for you and less time focussing on what you think you should be doing to please others.
Nurture yourself, not others
We often give so much to others that there isn’t enough left in the tank for ourselves. Whilst it is great to be a nurturer, a nurturer can’t really nurture if they haven’t first nurtured themselves. So whatever you do for Valentine’s Day, consider yourself too. Consider yourself in your bookings for a meal, in the expectations you put on a partner and the way you deal with this day if you are enjoying your single life.
Instead of focusing on anxious, unrealistic expectations and pressure show yourself a little love. Here's how to feel the love for yourself this Valentine's Day.
- Do what you want - Ask yourself what you want to do. Is there a movie you want to see, a restaurant you want to try? If you have a partner, think of something that you will both enjoy instead of putting their needs ahead of yours.
- Spoil yourself - Go shopping and buy yourself a gift, even red roses and chocolates. Why wait for someone else to give you what you want?
- Spread those positive vibes - Spend the day making positive self-statements about yourself instead of negative ones. Look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself what you like about yourself, not what you want to improve.
- Make public positive statements - Make a statement somewhere about yourself that is more public, whether that be on social media or to a friend. It’s one thing to love yourself, but it’s another to express that out loud. Let people see just how happy and confident you are.
- Fight your fears - Do something you’ve always wanted to do but were too scared to. This is a day to celebrate the love for yourself so why not make a bold move and take away some self doubt. It's time to book that holiday, try a new exercise class or even head out to a new bar. Part of loving ourselves is having the courage to do the things we really want to do.