How To Avoid Valentine's Day Pressure

Follow this expert advice to deal with the most loved up day of the year when you're single. 

'Try and avoid buying into the pressures of Valentine’s Day'. This is the advice of Dr John Demartini, a well-known human behavioural specialist and author of the book: The Heart of Love. With Valentine’s Day looking, he says that couples will feel pressured to show their love and singles to find love.

Its intention is to be a day where millions of couples across the globe celebrate with romance, chocolate and flowers. But for some, Valentine’s Day can be a spotlight on all the things they see as out of order in their relationships, resulting in the blues rather than a flush of love.

“Valentine’s Day also tends to put pressure on singles who think to themselves: ‘I’m all by myself tonight’. This is based on the assumption that being a couple is better than being single.”

Demartini says it is a one-sided perception to think that a relationship will bring you eternal happiness. If you go into a relationship thinking your partner will always support you, never challenge you, always be kind and never mean, you have an unrealistic expectation. Haven’t you ever received something you longed for, like a new job or a house, and instead of being happy you discover a fresh set of challenges and unexpected problems?”

“There are as many negatives as positives to being in a relationship. One of the greatest myths of all time is: If I’m not involved with someone, I’ll be lonely. Have you ever been physically close to someone, even in bed with them, and felt a huge distance between you?”

Demartini asks: “If you need someone in your life to make you whole, why would someone else want to be with you?” The truth is a couple might have a big fight on Valentine’s Day and you might have more fun just being with friends or being on your own.’’

To couples, Demartini advises that it would be wise not to place too much pressure on one another to deliver a spectacular Valentine’s Day experience. “The day could just be a reminder to be grateful for the person you’re with.’’

According to Dr Demartini, the most destructive 10 relationship myths are:

1. A new relationship will make a person happy
2. Soul mates complete a person
3. The right relationship will last forever
4. The right relationship needs no work
5. Good sex happens only at the beginning of a relationship
6. Children complete a marriage
7. Single people are lonely
8. Opposites attract

Dr Demartini is considered one of the leading authorities on human behavior and personal development. For more information visit

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