Give the Gift of Allowance This Christmas

Our Wellbeing Expert, Sam Sargent, provides a simple tip for helping to create more harmony with loved ones this Christmas.

Christmas can be a time that brings up all sorts of stress, especially if getting together with the family is not a regular harmonious occasion. 

So often I hear about arguments that centre around what or who is “right” and “wrong”. A seemingly small difference in opinions that easily causes temperatures to rise. If a happy and stress-free holiday season is something that you would like to influence, what if you gave up your quest to be “right” and allowed others to be “right” even if you perceive what they are saying to be “wrong”.

What if what you see as absolute truth is just your own interesting point-of-view? Who’s to say that your point-of-view is “right” and someone else’s “wrong”? What’s the point anyway? Proving that you’re right and they’re wrong and inadequate can easily make the other person to feel bad about themselves.

The more time we focus on judging and criticizing the choices other people make, the less time we have available to enjoy and create our own exciting lives.

Do you find yourself judging and criticizing loved ones?  It’s very easy to blame the person nearest to you for something else that’s going on in your life. We’re all guilty of it. Well maybe all of us. I’m certain that my grandmother truly was an angel, for I never heard a nasty word come out of her mouth. So much so that the wrinkles on her face were “happy wrinkles”. A beautiful woman who inspires me to be a better version of me every day.

But back to where I was … if you do find yourself in a stressful situation this holiday season where you’re likely to take it out on those around you, please remove yourself from their presence. Take a walk, a bath, three deep breaths, or whatever else it is that helps you become more calm and clear. Or whisper in your head “interesting point-of-view that I have this point-of-view”. Makes for much happier relationships and friendships.

This holiday season, give the gift of allowance. Before you step in to judge or prove that you’re ‘right’, ask yourself … is it kind? is it necessary? If you get a ‘no’ to either of these questions, please keep quiet. Do this for the next two weeks and see the difference in your life, and the way in which people interact with you.

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