If one of your goals in 2012 is to find a partner, it’s important to first take some time to think about exactly what you want out of your love life in the new year.
To help you realise your relationship resolutions, Dr Gian Gonzaga, eHarmony.com.au relationship expert and director of Research and Development at eHarmony Labs, has some tips to help prepare yourself for love in 2012.
1. Write down what is most important to you in a partner
Most people have never taken the time to write down everything they would want in a potential partner. When it comes to your values and personal beliefs you’ll want to find a partner that is on the same page as you. Writing down these characteristics helps you uncover what you’re willing to live with and what you can’t live without.
However, it is important to have realistic expectations of a partner. Setting the bar so high that even a superhuman couldn’t reach it only stops you from meeting someone you might actually like. Nobody is perfect, but you should never have to settle.
2. Be confident and happy
People fall in love with someone they want to be around. Think of your greatest attribute, or ask a friend to name it, and whether it be your intellect, kindness, sense of humour or smile, focus on that attribute to gain more confidence. Feeling down? Walk into a room with a smile. Scientists have found that smiling actually makes you feel happier.
3. Never miss an opportunity to meet someone new
The key to successful dating is to never let an opportunity pass you by. Broaden your social network, take up a new hobby and let your friends and family know you’re ready to date and looking for the right person. Online dating is a great way to quickly improve your chances of dating success because the profiles reveal so much about the person that you can narrow in on who you might think is a potential good match. You can also get to know the person over the phone or online before having to meet face to face.
4. Stop comparing yourself to other people
With dating comes rejection. Not every person is going to be a successful fit with you. He or she may not have felt the connection or spark that you might have but that doesn’t mean that there is something wrong with you, it just means you haven’t found the right match.
5. Ask yourself what you did right and do more of that next time
It’s important to be optimistic that you will find the right person. Have a positive attitude and be determined to have a good experience. If the person isn’t the right match for you at least you’ll be expanding your social network or gaining dating momentum.
Most people want a happy and self-confident person as a partner. If your date wasn’t a success, ask yourself what anecdote you told that got a great laugh, or what story you recounted that the person seemed to be really engaged in and simply do more of that on your next date with someone new.
6. Only date when you’re ready to find love
You have to be willing and ready to meet your perfect partner. If you are still in love with your ex you may not be ready to give 100 per cent of yourself to someone else. However, you can’t wait forever. Take some time to find out what’s really holding you back before you try and get back in the dating world.