Essex Glossary: Your Guide to Essex Speak

Here it is! Your official guide to understanding the cast of The Only Way is Essex. What's your favourite phrase? Please feel free to add to our gloassary in the comments below and we'll update the list!

Definition Kiss (and possibly more)
In a Sentence "Last time I saw Mark he was in the VIP lounge, getting off with that Page 3 model"


Definition A sparkling makeover for the female genitalia
In a Sentence Amy to Sam: "What kind of design do you want? A sexy scattered vajazzle? It looks so pretty."

SHUT UP (pronounced sharr -arrp)

Definition A term with many meanings. Shut up is a word used to express shock, amazement, excitement and even confusion, in fact it can pretty much be used in any situation as a response.
In a Sentence Harry in response to 'What's a vajazzle?'Oh my god, shut up! I thought it was a Mexican dinner or something!"


Definition Short for Jealous - A phrase used mainly among women to highlight a males jealousy issues.
In a Sentence "He's getting a bit jell because I'm chatting to you!"


Definition A lady's genitalia
In a Sentence "My best feature is probably my Noo"


Definition Get me upset
In a Sentence "He's right giving me the hump"


Definition Harry, Sam and Amy’s way of expressing pleasure in one’s appearance
In a Sentence "Oh my God I am going to look so beautifuuuuuul in this River Island dress"


Definition Short for "whistle and flute" - Cockney rhyming slang for "suit"
In a Sentence "I know I'm going on a date but it's only to the zoo - I'm not going to wear a whistle, am I?!"


Definition Region of southern Spain popular with Essex holidaymakers
In a Sentence "I met her on the lads' holiday to Marbella"

Definition i) An exclamation of frustration or annoyance. ii) A lie or mistatement. iii) A male's testicles
In a Sentence i) (When spilling champagne on dress) "Oh, bollocks!" ii) "She's talking bollocks - I never cheated on you!" iii) "He looked at her the wrong way and she delivered a swift stiletto to the bollocks"


Definition To steal
In a Sentence "He's nicked my bird, cheeky bastard"


Definition A feature in British tabloid papers featuring topless ladies
In a Sentence "There's so much competition to be a Page 3 girl"


Definition To make a situation worse by getting rude
In a Sentence "Don't give it lemon Arg, it's not worth it"


Definition To get involved in something which does not concern you
In a Sentence "Why are you getting Gary for you mug?!"


Definition Unattractive. Very unattractive.


Definition A very good-looking woman.
In a sentence "She's a weapon."

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1 comment
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Posted by dibazzaReport
WTF does Reem mean?