Our fitness expert Blake Worrall-Thompson explains how you can learn from life's setbacks and become stronger when it comes to achieving your goals.
You have those that are “fixed” or those that are “growers.”
The former tend to think, “I’m good/bad at this, and that’s just the way it is,” while the latter are much more open to change and possibility.
The growers are more like, “I’m not awesome at this, but I’ll give it a crack.” Put me in front of the growers any day of the week!
- “Fixed” personalities tend to think of setbacks as mistakes, while the growers think of them as challenges and opportunities to move forward. Growers are all about giving it a red hot crack, even if they’re not successful. Fixed personalities see their one attempt that didn’t go as planned as a “failure.”
- Growers compete against themselves towards greatness. Fixed personalities compete against other people.
- Fixed personalities attribute setbacks to their lack of ability and get depressed. Growers embrace setbacks because they provide an opportunity to learn and grow, and don’t think failures say anything about their inherent worth.
- Growers find it easier to stay motivated because they focus more on what they can learn from difficulties and obstacles. The fixed personalities have a harder time persevering because they have a narrow definition of success and get too caught up when things don’t work the way they want.
- I’ve blown close to $50,000 on bad “investments” and courses, meaning that financially I’m behind where I would like to be at this point. But with each bad investment I’ve made, I am more and more aware of what I’m looking for and what I’m not looking for in a program or coach. I recently paid a new business coach $6,000—and he is by far the best coach I’ve had to date. I could have become cynical about coaches and led myself to believe they are a waste of time and money but nothing makes me happier than continuously moving forward and learning and for that reason I’ll always have a coach.
- I’ve been in some “interesting” relationships that haven’t worked out, but this doesn’t mean it’s ok for me to carry a chip on my shoulder and look at any new girl I meet in the same light and assume “Oh, she’s just like the others.” Instead I’ve spent the last 18 months single, working on myself and getting clear on what it is that I’m looking for in a partner.
- I’ve had chronic knee issues for over 15 years, and despite the fact I’ve seen in excess of 20 physios during this time, I refuse to accept that my knee is so bad I can’t ever run or play football. Instead I look for alternative methods and hang on to any small improvement that my knee makes. After 10 months of knee pain and trialling new methods this year, I’m finally pain-free for the first time in 2013.
- I’m currently in the process of moving a large portion of my business online, yet I barely know how to turn a computer on! Despite the fact it can get frustrating at times, I make sure I embrace and enjoy every little win that I have. I also keep a diary and every now and then look over it—it’s amazing how far you can come in a short period of time if you don’t let your “failures” make you give up!
So there it is. You’ve got two options: Let a setback deter you from living life to the max and play the victim card (because your life is so hard and you’ve been “dealt the wrong hand”)—or man up, learn from your setbacks, become stronger because of them…and, when you get knocked down, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and try again.
Have a good weekend!