Too busy to get busy in the bedroom? Here are a few ways to put sex back on your priority list.
You know how it is. Working full time, raising kids, running households and companies.
When do you find the time to have sex with your partner? It’s often low on the list of priorities. Sometimes it’s just hard to feel like getting your kit off when you’ve got pasta sauce splattered on your trackies and you're rushing to the vet to get the dog’s toenails clipped.
The chaos of the week and an un-crackable to-do list can leave you feeling a little on the unsexy side… and at peace with the cobwebs that have grown inside your unused fanny. It seems like the longer we go without, the more at peace we tend to get.
But intimacy (in any form) is important for the longevity of most relationships. When was the last time you got out your good undies and made come hither eyes?
Here are a few ways to get back on the job.
1. Shag early
Dan Savage, of the fantastic sex podcast ‘Savage Love’ says that we need to make time with our partners, or a relationship will surely die. If you have kids and/or busy jobs, you still need to make time as a couple. He also adds the excellent advice of having sex before your dinner/movie date. When you’re stuffed full of popcorn and wine, you will most likely fall into bed snoring, not shagging. Got a babysitter and can’t squeeze it in? Car sex anyone?
2. Schedule it in
Most sexperts agree – when you’re busy, you need to schedule shagging in or it will be the first thing to go. It feels a little unspontaneous, but seriously, when you’re a parent, nothing is spontaneous. Except vomit. Vomit is spontaneous.
At least if you both know it’s on the cards, you can make sure that your nice knickers aren’t in the wash. Think sexy thoughts. Put the kids to bed early. Don’t eat a whole large pizza and get tummy pains. Don’t fall asleep during Game of Thrones. You know, sexy stuff.
Did you forget music? In your twenties, you never bumped uglies without your fave tunes. You probably even had a sex playlist. But now, it has to be silent or the five year old might walk in (not sexy), or perhaps for something really saucy, the 7.30 report as your sensual soundtrack (also not sexy). Play music again. It works wonders. Try some 70’s disco.
4. Rediscover the shower
Shower sex is fun. And private. And away from the bedroom, which will surely spice it up a bit. Quickies are fun too. Quickies in the shower are really fun. And you can multitask by getting clean too. Winning.
5. Get sexy
Everyone has their own little ways to feel sexy. A wax job might do it. Your best flannel PJ pants could be another. Candles, wine, sexting, vibrators or just putting the cat outside so it’s not watching you with judgey eyes. Whatever floats your boat, do it. Then get busy.