Jacqueline Hellyer

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Help im turning into a mental case!!! 

Hello! I broke up from a bad relationship at the beginning of the year. In that relationship I was made to feel like I needed to look a certain way and be a certain person - for e.g. he voiced to me that anymore than a 10kg weight gain would result in him leaving me because he couldnt love "a fat girl". So now I have just started seeing this amazing man and I am having past relationship issues - I cannot stop thinking negative thoughts about myself and feel I am not worthy enough of his love. He does and says all the perfect things and I still cannot get over my insecurities. I am so scared he will leave me - help!!! How do I stop all this mental hoo-ha and just enjoy the lovely man I have now before I push him away???

Answered Wednesday 26 October 2011

Congratulations on having the strength to leave an abusive relationship. Go girl! The trouble with abusive relationships is that they leave scars. Your last relationship was emotionally abusive, so now you're living with the scars. For a start, let your new man know what happened in your last relationship, and ask him if he can help you heal the damage it left. Whenever he complements you, say 'thank you', or even, 'thank-you, you're right, I am XYZ'. Self-love is a tricky thing for most (if not all!) women in our society, as there is so much pressure to be 'perfect', whatever that is. So be gentle on yourself if you're having trouble, yet at the same time, know that you are trying and slowly changing to be more appreciative and loving of your self. It sounds like you have a lovely man, so let him help you recover and become the the full luscious woman that you really are!

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Jacqueline Hellyer

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